While most psychologists agree that human development is a process that unfolds in stages, they have attempted to define these stages by pointing out typical milestones that mark this transition. Using milestones to determine one’s level of “progress” is helpful when comparing people to each other, but it also sets young adults up for social comparison and feelings of inadequacy when they “miss milestones.” Developmental milestones may be accurate for toddlers learning how to walk or expanding their vocabulary, but they become less fixed when talking about milestones such as independent living, marriage, and careers.
Abstract Model of Development
Recently, Tom Bissonette proposed an “Asynchronous Model of Development” to explain the complexity of young adult development. He points out that, after a certain point, each person grows at their own rate in several key developmental areas.
These areas include:
- Physical Development
- Emotional Development
- Cognitive Development
- Academic Development
- Social Development
- Career Development
Missed Milestones
The problem with most models of young adult development is that the ignore the pressure these models place upon individuals to follow a predictable path. When young adults perceive that they are ahead or behind their peers in an area, they may feel pressure to adjust their behavior. Young adults who feel this pressure to conform often struggle with “Fear of Missing Out” on “typical young adult milestones.” This pressure also applies when they compare themselves to an ideal self.
Bissonette explains, “If the gap seems insurmountable, they may give up. If it’s substantial but they underestimate the task, they may try to catch up by taking short cuts. If they feel behind but have a realistic idea about what it would take to reach synchrony, they may step up by planning incremental changes, or seeking the guidance of a mentor or counselor.
The other issue with these developmental stages is that they focus on one category of growth. This sets them up to believe that they are a “failure” and “incapable of achieving normal goals.” Using an asynchronous model that focuses on multiple aspects of development allows young adults to recognize their strengths in certain areas. This is a more realistic marker of progress, as most young adults focus on goals in different growth areas.
Social Comparison Among Young Adults
The term “emerging adulthood” was recently coined to differentiate between the major developmental differences that occur between late adolescence and early adulthood. During this stage, it is common for young adults to be moving at different paces and to struggle with new responsibilities. Some launch into independence the day they turn eighteen, while others continue to live at home for a few years. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of college students do not graduate within 4 years. It can be destructive for young adults’ self-esteem when they idealize these milestones and the timeframe they are given to achieve them is unrealistic.
Teaching young adults that development is asynchronous and that most social comparison is unrealistic helps them shape personalized goals in various areas of development.
Foundations Asheville Can Help
Foundations Asheville is a program for young adults ages 18-25 who are struggling to launch into adulthood. This program is committed to helping young adults develop and sharpen the skills they need to be successful in the real world. There is a focus on teaching students how to enter the workforce, develop vocational trades, and functional living skills. Foundations Asheville gives young adults the opportunity to gain confidence, find their purpose, and learn useful skills that will help them navigate through the adult years.
Contact us at (877) 318 – 7273 for more information. We can help your family today!
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