It’s difficult finding that balance in how much you can parent your young adult. He may no longer rely on you to make decisions for him, but the path that he may be taking may not be in line with what you had hoped for him. While it’s impossible to force your son to share your vision for him, there are ways that you can help your son find motivation in his own life and let go of some of that responsibility for his personal success. The transition to adulthood can sometimes be just as difficult for parents as it is for the teens going through it.
While he may not clean up after himself, be able to hold down a job, or spend time with a questionable friend group, it is important not to assign labels to his behavior by calling him lazy, a failure, or a nobody. Even if you think calling him out for poor decisions will help him to take responsibility for his actions, he is more likely to take it to heart and believe that those things will always be true and that he is helpless to change them.
Ask for his input
Most of the time we jump to conclusions or make assumptions about our children’s lives without asking for their perspective. You may think you’ve known him long enough to recognize this is unlike him or that he is capable of so much more, but it’s harder to listen if the truth is that he is feeling hopeless, depressed, or anxious about the future. He may feel shut down and invalidated if he doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to you about obstacles getting in the way.
Stay calm, but firm
No one likes being told what to do, but sometimes they may need more guidance and support to stay on track with their personal goals. Be persistent in offering to be supportive, but be comfortable with letting him decide what that may look like. Backing off may be hard when your intentions are good, but pressure can feel overwhelming.
While your son may be struggling with finding motivation, remember that no one’s personal journey is linear and that there are multiple roads people can take, often leading to the same place. Your son may be passionate and motivated, but not know where to begin. Helping him set smaller, more realistic goals can help get him on the path to personal success.
Foundations Can Help
Foundations Asheville is a program for males ages 18-24 who are struggling to find the motivation to launch into adulthood. Many of our students struggle with anxiety, depression, social skills, and learning difficulties. This program is committed to helping young men develop and sharpen the skills they need to be successful in the real world. There is a focus on teaching students how to enter the workforce, develop vocational trades, and functional living skills. Foundations Asheville gives young men the opportunity to gain confidence, find their purpose, and learn useful skills that will help them navigate through the adult years.
For more information on how to motivate your struggling young adult, call 18773187273. We can help your family today!